I may be wrong, I may be crazy, but it just might be the LawLawLaw you’re looking for.
Because we all need a break from Theo-gate, here are my Cy Young and Rookie o’ Year predictions.
The AL Rookie of the Year Award will go to Robinson Cano of the Yankees. Why? Because he hit .297, hit 4 home runs, and had 62 RBI. Plus the other two candidates play for Oakland and are pitchers. ROTY awards generally go to position players. And outside of Oakland, nobody watches the Athletics.
The NL Rookie of the Year Award will go to Jeff Francoeur of the Braves, who hit .300 with 11 home runs and 45 RBIs in only 257 at-bats. Plus he plays in Atlanta, and lots of people watch TBS.
The AL Cy Young Award will go to Bartolo Colon of the Angels because he was 21-8, and Cy Young voters like to give the award to the starting pitcher with the most wins, unless the pitcher’s name rhymes with Dennis Eckersley.
The NL Cy Young Award will go to Dontrelle Willis of the Marlins, who went 22-10 for the season. Same reasoning as above. Roger Clemens will not win because he didn’t get enough wins. Complaining about lack of run support is for losers.
If I were a weatherman, I would state exactly how much snow we’d get in each storm, when it would start, and when it would end. I’d be at least as accurate as the “4-12 inches and somewhere between Friday and Sunday” weatherman who dominate the local news. But unlike them, I’d occasionally be exactly right. And I’d always be entertaining.