From the April Fools’ Day edition of my LawLawLaw newsletter.
[Editor’s Note: This note is from the April Fools’ Day edition of my LawLawLaw newsletter. I’ve been doing April Fools’ Day jokes for a long time, and I reference many of my past parodies in this issue. Believe it or not, there are always those who think that some or all of this is real, even when I include a long disclaimer like this. Why do I do these parodies? Well, Thomas L. Bohan Winston Churchill reportedly said, “It doesn’t take all types, there just are all types.” I am the type who enjoys this sort of humor. I hope you’ll enjoy this too, and I hope that you’ll forward this on to others. So happy April Fools’ Day, and enjoy!]
The Department of Justice (DOJ) today ended Microsoft’s dominance of the computer software market by splitting the company up into three businesses: Micro Inc., Soft Inc., and Network Etc. Inc. The DOJ’s decision was based on a DOJ agent’s discovery that DOS, Windows, and NT were all made by Microsoft and that all three were so-called “operating systems.” The new company Micro Inc. will focus on operating systems products. Soft Inc. will produce application programs for various operating systems, including those produced by Micro Inc. And Network Etc. Inc. will focus on products and services that are neither operating systems nor application programs, such as The Network Etc. Network (formerly “The Microsoft Network”) and SoftNBC (formerly “MSNBC”). Network Etc. Inc. has licensed the term “Soft” from Soft Inc. for SoftNBC, its cable-television-plus-Web-site product line. The DOJ promised to break up Network Etc. Inc. into separate companies if it determines that Network Etc. has a monopoly in the booming cable-television-plus-Web-site market.